Hi, I’m Steve, and I’m relatively new to the cottage world, currently wrapping up my third summer at the cottage.  If anything has influenced my life as much as my friends, career and family, its booze….I mean the cottage. I can’t imagine cottaging during the prohibition, where a weekend consisted only of charades and Shirley Temples. Yes, you might say I have my priorities out of whack, but others might say I finally have all my ducks in one row.

It was the summer of 2009 that I met Whipper Billy Watson. I’m not sure if he is real, or just a figment of my imagination, as a result of the porch crawler (more on porch crawling later). Nevertheless, Whipper showed me the cottage is more than just a place to relax; it’s a place to blow the lid off! You work so hard all week, you deserve a weekend of relentless fun and debauchery, and it is Whipper Billy Watson who will show you the way.

Cottages are built on the foundation of the 3 B’s: Beer, BBQ and bikinis. Bros and bikinis are interchangeable terms depending on the weekend, but I felt it was worth using bikinis in an attempt to grab your attention. It wasn’t until Whipper Billy Watson enlightened me as to the endless possibilities that is summer cottaging that I started thinking about the coming weekend as I awoke each Monday morning. Below you will find a collection of Whipper’s favourite cottage past times – some old favourites and some new goodies. The common theme is drinking, which I know you all enjoy.

The first B - Beer.

The 3 Bs are the necessary ingredients for any good cottage weekend. But how can we best utilize the 3 Bs to heighten the cottage experience? Let’s assume for a minute you have a grill master (BBQ) and all your favourite people (bros and bikinis). Whipper Billy can’t change your friends or suggest the right cottage foods – that you make your own. What Whipper can do is show you some simple games that will ensure your cottage weekend is a memorable one (or one that includes no detailed memories at all). Therefore, we will focus on the first B  - beer - for this blog. Who knows, maybe some more entries will come for the 2nd and 3rd B’s: BBQ and bros/bikinis.

So…. about that beer…. Let’s start with Whipper’s favourite game: flip cup. While those Yankees play beer pong, we Canadians flip cups, and we got the better part of the deal.  Flip cup. Here’s what you need to know:

Best played with: 4 players per team
Equipment: Plastic Cups, beer

Flip Cup is phenomenon involving 2 teams of 3 to 8 people for each team, with 4 being the perfect number for each team.  The game begins by each player of a team squaring off across the table against an opposing player. Plastic cups are filled to a designated amount. What’s key is that Flip Cup is a gentlemen’s game – those opponents squaring off against one another must have the same amount of beer in each cup.  Players alternate setting cup amounts.

Like a boat race, it begins at one end of the line and the players must drink their beer, then flip their up from right-side-up to upside-down. Only then can the next person on your team go. Winning team is the first to drink and flip all their cups.

Some notes: you begin on the end of the line of each team and for each consecutive game, the next person starts (i.e. the person who starts the first game will be last the second game). Each game is best of 7 series. In the event of a tie, the last person on each team (those who tied) square off against one another for a one flip challenge with a full cup. All game 7’s are played with full cups as well.

A Deck of Cards:

There are 4 cottage games that Whipper insists you try. Whipper is all about simplicity and good times, so all you really need is a deck of cards, beer and plastic cups. Whipper seems to have an uncanny knowledge of all things fun, hilarious and worthwhile. It’s my pleasure to share these games with you on his behalf.

Best played with: 4 to 10 players
Equipment: Deck of Cards, beer

One person is the dealer (irrelevant whom, but a shit-talker is ideal). There are 5 rounds to this game. Round 1 is worth one drink, Round 2 is worth two drinks, and so on. Drinks can all be given to one person, or split amongst many,.

For Round 1, the dealer asks the same question and flips over a card for each player, in order, from the left of the dealer. The question is “red or black?” Whipper follows Wesley Snipes’ advice and ALWAYS bets on black, but your choice. If the player guesses correctly, they give out one drink. If guessed incorrectly, they take one drink. After all players including the dealer have done the Red/Black round, we move to Round 2, worth 2 drinks.

Again starting with the same person to the left of the dealer, the question is asked “higher or lower?” (Than that player’s first card). Give out 2 drinks for the correct answer; take 2 for the wrong answer. Note: if you post on any round (a post is if you draw the same card as you’ve drawn previously) it is worth double. For example, if Whipper guessed black on Round 1 and got a 10 of clubs (thanks, Wesley), and then for Round 2 called “lower” but hit a 10 of diamonds, Whipper would take 4 drinks.

Round 3 is called “inside or outside?” Will your next card be inside your first two cards or outside of them?  For example, if your cards from Round 1 and 2 are a “7” and a Jack, inside would be an 8, 9 or 10 while any other card counts as outside. HOWEVER, this is the most common round for a post (lucky you), which is double the drinks (i.e. 3 x 2 = 6 drinks if you post). For example, if you drew either a 7 or Jack (for this example) it would be a post for double the drinks.

Round 4 is difficult, but so satisfying if you win. The question is “what suit?” and is worth 4 drinks. After Round 4, for the final round, each player is given one more card, for a total of 5 cards per player and the best showing poker hand gets to allot 5 drinks to player(s) of their choice.  Repeat as necessary.

Summary:
Round 1 – Red or Black?
Round 2 – Higher or Lower?
Round 3 – Inside or Outside?
Round 4 – Suit?
Round 5 – Poker hand

Best played with: 4 to 8 players
Equipment: Deck of Cards, Plastic Cups, beer

Drinking black jack is a Whipper favourite and makes him remember the sweet days spending his mortgage payments on Gin and Tonics and Black jack hands at the Windsor Casino. The rules are the same as Black Jack, but the differences are:

Bets are made with beer. The cup in front of each player is your betting cup. All players bet each round, except for the dealer. All players bet into their cup and the dealer deals out a hand of black jack as per casino rules. If a player wins his hand, the dealer drinks his cup. If the player loses his hand, the player drinks. After each player hits and/or stays, the dealer completes his hand and drinks accordingly.

ALL players must deal before the game can end. Whipper warns you as the dealer: don’t bust! That could mean you’re drinking all the players’ cups if they don’t bust. Afterwards, the person to the left becomes the dealer.

Note: splitting and doubling down are encouraged. Black Jack drinks 1:1 so a player will not top up their cup if they hit a BJ. If the dealer hits black jack, ALL players must drink their drinks.

Best played with: 4 to 8 players
Equipment: Deck of Cards, Plastic Cups, beer

Cards are laid out on the table in pyramid form, with 5 cards on the bottom row, then 4, then 3, then 2, then 1 at the top. The remaining cards are dealt to the players. The row of 5 is worth 1 drink; row of 4 is worth 2 drinks, and so on. The last card is worth 5 drinks.

The first card is flipped (bottom left of beeramid) and starting to the left of the dealer, a player can “claim” to have a card and designate a drink to a player of their choosing. The catch is the person doesn’t need to have the card to give out drinks; they just need you to think you have the card. As a receiver of the drink, you can call “bluff” on the drink giver. If it is a bluff, the giver takes double the drinks for that round, but if it is not a bluff, you the drinker need to drink double. No problem on the bottom row, but gets more devastating once you get to the 3, 4 and 5 drink levels. Game is played until all cards are flipped. Repeat as necessary.

Best played with: 4 to 10 players
Equipment: Deck of Cards, 1 Plastic Cup, beer

Kings is Whipper’s final card-based to contribute to the cottage experience. Ridiculously social, Kings is a game you can make your own – the list below is a guideline and can be modified as you see fit.

A plastic cup is placed in the middle of the table, and all 52 cards are spread out, face down, around the cup. Players draw cards in clockwise order until the fourth King is pulled and the game ends. Each time a King is pulled, a portion of that person’s drink is poured into the plastic cup. The person who pulls the last/fourth King has to drink all contents of the cup and signals the end of the game. Below is a list of instructions for the other cards in the deck – breaking any rule or description below results in a drink for you.

2 – two for you (give 2 drinks)
3  - three for me (take 3 drinks)
4 – Questions (one person asks a question, then each person must respond with a question)
5 – Jive (one person starts a dance move, then each person must do that move plus another – the person who messes up drinks)
6 – Pamplemousse (players count from 1 up to whatever number you can get to – every time a 3, multiple of 3 or a number with 3 in it comes up, the player must say “pamplemousse”)
7 – Categories (i.e. items of a McDonald’s menu)
8 – I Never (i.e. I never wrote a blog about drinking)
9 – Rhyme Time (say a word or phrase that each person must rhyme with)
10 – Thumblord (the thumblord can place their thumb on the table at any time – the last player to put his thumb on the table drinks)
J – Bucket Head (whoever draws a Jack must where a bucket on his head until another J is drawn. Bucket Head cannot speak while he has the bucket on his head – breaking this rule results in a drink)
Q – Rule (i.e. no nicknames)
K – The cup (fill ‘er up 1/3 of the way with your drink
A – Social (everyone drinks)

Best played with: 6 to 8 people
Equipment: 1 cooler, 1 case of light beer, 1 40oz of vodka, 4 cans of concentrated frozen lemonade, 2 bags of ice.

While traditionally referred to as a porch crawler, Whipper renamed this the dock crawler, as the end result is usually the participants crawling off the dock on their hands and knees having, recently lost most motor skills. This is a delicious blend of refreshing drinks, complimenting each other like a man talking to a woman on their first date. This is just like a British Shandy, except now more like a Turbo Shandys. (Side note: a Turbo Shandy is 2 parts beer, 1 part Smirnoff Ice – its delicious, Whipper says try it).

How do you make such an epic concoction? Clean out your cooler and add the 24 beers first. Pour in the 40oz of vodka, then pour in the cans of lemonade (do NOT add water). It is the lemonade that makes this taste oh so good. Finally add in the 2 bags of ice, stir and let settle (de-foam). Grab your nearest ladel and start pouring.

Variation: grab a split cooler, with 2 even sides. Split ingredients in half and break out into separate teams and race to see who can finish first. Current record is 38 minutes with 2 males and 2 females on each team.